Reflections

Cat sighed, a heavy sigh, filled with self reproach. For too long she had considered her photos, rearranged them into categories and lined them into storylines. Now the moment had fled, the enthusiasm for her project dulled.
She sighed a gain, she had no idea where the picture had been taken and she was increasingly unsure who the people were. With luck Woo would remember, though her brain was much younger than Cat's she had suffered quite a few blows to the head from her battles with the bubbles.

"No", thought Cat "I will have to wait until the Panda stirs".

Since the installation of air conditioning, Panda had succumbed to a genetic urge to hibernate during most of the 24 hours allocated to each day.

She peered at the photo again, definitely Europe, possibly Italy, may be Venice?  Well wherever it was it was one of the  ATM's visited somewhere.


Cat decided it was one of the few photos that only showed a double chin so she was not unhappy with it where ever it was.

Never Say no to a Panda

We Came. We Saw. We Squandered

Cat looked sadly at her new Roman purchases. Panda had requested quite firmly that Cat refrain from spending any more Euros’. The new bag had been a bargain and the latest statue almost a steal. Half the price of the same article bought at the Vatican, a story that will come in later.


Cats bag had reached it limit of small statuaries, key rings and t-shirts, books, bags, purses, thimbles, spoons and glass dishes were wrapped in her clothes and stored in the bulging suite case. Bits of England, France and Italy, in the future her children would have the honour to pass on these memories to the nearest opportunity shop.

So much had happened on the tour, so little time and so much difficulty to access the internet, Cat was left to reminisce on the high lights of the trip. A bus trip around Europe sounds like an adventure, looks like and adventure, and often act like a disaster on 8 wheels. The problem with bus trips is that it often attracts penguins, thought Cat. She was reminded of a conversation the trio had in the planning of the trip.

Panda had said grimly “I hope there are no penguins on the trip”. Woo had been a bit horrified to think Panda was being just a bit racist. Panda explained that Penguins were not so much a race as a state of being, a condition that afflicted creatures. They might start out cute and cuddly but over time they fail to develop resistance to the miseries. They went from cute and cuddly to neck stretching, clacking, complainers shuffling and huddling together. They squawked and clacked over any real or imagines slight, difficulty and disturbance. They could turn a warm day icy. Pandas had centuries ago done battle with the Penguins and ate them for breakfast.

“Rubbish,” said Woo, “there are no penguins in China!!”.

“Well not anymore,” said Panda.

“But Panda’s are vegetarians!!!”, said an incredulous Woo.

“ True we are now”, said Panda. “Now we are the Tao of the Panda we are at peace with all creatures.” Cat rolled her eyes and purred “Tao of Panda”

SWINGING IN LONDONINUM

London had been a great adventure. The Fischer King had prepared a great dinner for them and they had eaten and laughed long into the night. The Fischer King’s youngest son Laurence the piano playing Bobby was there to help open bottles and keep the wine flowing. Woo kept the conversation flowing; Panda threw away all pretence of vegetarianism and devoured a pig. Cat purred Tao of Panda indistinctly.

The Trafalgar Tour de Force Begins

Cat, Panda and Woo hopped on the big Trafalgar bus in London, and the tour guide Nathan the Kelpie introduced himself. As first on the bus the trio settled in to some decent seats. The bus began to collect other passengers, fellow adventurers from Ecuador, Mexico, Canada, USA and the usually noisy flock of Aussies. Panda sniffed and licked his lips. He had already detected the strong fishy odour of penguin.

The white cliffs of Dover were the leaping off point for the tour, all aboard the ferry to Calais. With the cry “Chocks away Ginger”, Woo led the rush to the front of the boat. It was a sort of D-Day operation with Nathan trying to hold the attention of the group with instructions that were half heard and ignored.

On a new bus with a new driver Rafaelli the tour quickly adjusted to living in cramped and crowded conditions. Nathan pointed out sights of interest the rain swept fields that were once the trenches of the Somme. The tall cliffs and mountains near Marseilles that hid the French Résistance and Nancy Wake. Nancy , code named the white mouse, The most highly decorated person of WWII and suitably ignored by Australia. It was no surprise that in this land of ancient conflicts the continuing battle of the Bubbles was to be waged.

The Trafalgar Champaign Campaign

Woo quickly teamed up with a yellow crested lorikeet called Anne and they chirped along for most of the trip. Anne was a great ally for Woo in her battle against the bubbles. The Bubbles had their legions and the Trafalgar Team were forced to fight a guerrilla campaign throughout Europe. Often the French Canadian Bambi’s twins (Nat and Lyn) would enter the fray hold their own in the skirmishes. The Trafalgar Team had enough reserves to cover the trip. However, the star players were Paladin Nick, son of Anne, two night owls, Tom and Greg and of course Woo and Jools. By the end of the tour the vanguard were weary but stalwart in defence. Statistics for the battles are as follows

Team Trafalgar vs 20 thousand litres of assorted wines and beers, sparkly drinks and spritz’s, not forgetting lemoncellos.



Not a Bubble left standing. Medals were confirmed on Jools for competing following a battle in the South of France. While severely wounded she had done her best to keep up with the rest of the troupe.



Paris, the city of love.

The city of the Eiffel tower, night markets, pickpockets and African seagulls. Panda, Cat and Woo were delighted to catch up with Jools in Paris. They met in the lobby of the hotel and danced a jig and hugged each other. Panda did not dance, but shuffled his feet and gave Jools a bear hug. The tour was on.

Paris, at night, the Tower, spectacular, until out of the darkness came the African seagulls, crowding around like the tourists were a bucket of chips on the beach. “Buy. Buy. Buy”, they chirped and pecked at the group. Nathan the Kelpie, on guard as usual, warning his flock, before they got fleeced, not to buy from anyone who could run away from the police.

To Be Continued

Cat Panda and Woo Leave The Shire

It has been a traumatic departure from the Shire. The Princess farewelled the sisters Cat and Woo with a perfunctory wave of her regal hand. Cat and Woo had worked very hard to win the  favour of the princess. Yet her heart was captured by the Panda. At his leaving she heaved great swollen tears of sorrow from the bottom of her heart, her lungs burst out a high pitched scream at the loss of her Panda. The Princess was unconsolable left in her gardeners cottage without the Panda to fuss and talk to her. No Panda to read her stories or play games like" this little piggy went to market" or "round and round the garden". No Panda to take her into the garden to pick berries or vegetables to chew on. It took a full half hour after seeing Panda off at the station for her to be distractedand forget him completely. Panda too was sad to leave the princess.

Cat was just happy to be back on the top of the pecking order once more. Cat and Panda had plans to meet with Bob and Marilyn in London. They arranged to meet in Trafalgar Square.

Trafalgar Square

 Cat and Panda were a little late due to the confusion that followed when they asked a man for directions. He seemed quite confident and while a little hard to understand Cat and Panda followed his instructions. They soon discovered they were either heading back to where they had come from or were suffering a very dangerous case of de jevu on the tube.As they arrived a second time at Waterloo they relaised the error of trusting locals for directions.

Cat fumed for it was just the sort of thing she would have done to an unsuspecting tourist and now the laugh was on her. Lucky for the man who gave the information he was no where in sight when they returned to Euston Station. Cat kept thinking she was in the middle of a Monolpy Game. Luckily a strike by the train drivers meant that the adventureres would have to use London Cabs to get around.

Bob and Marilyn took Cat and Panda to the National Art Gallery for lunch and then the friends talked and talked and talked themselves dry. They walked around the gallery until there before Cats eyes was the orignial Van Gogh Sunflowers. Cat sat and stared. The moment was impossible to recaputre. Cat just sat and purred. Magic.
Panda was not impressed.
Six hours flew by and the friends had to say goodbye. Tears were shed. It had been twenty years since their last cup of tea and a chat together.

Cat has had all manner of problems finding web connections wiping photos from her camera and now finding that the spell check no longer "parley vous anglaise". Cat stopped, took a long deep breath and sighed "Merde".

Castles and Chagal

Wednesday in Kent.
A big excitement filled the room, Woo wanted to see a real castle and this was about to become real. Cat wanted to go to a church where windows were crafted by Chagal. Cat's friend Gael the Womble had told her it was a must. Narna called her father Bob Knower of Things and Obscure Meanings and asked for his assistance with the day. SatNav's were organised and the convoy set off. The weather in the Weald had again proved itself to be kind and merciful. A soft sun and a brisk breeze kept the travellers comfy and ready to search and explore.
First stop was the Church - All Saints at Tudley (pronounced Two-dlee)..While Tudley had been occupied well before the Romans the Church had come into during the last years of King Edward the confessor. This dates the site back to 1066
Marc Chagal was commissioned to create a stained glass window to commorate the 1963 death of  Sarah Goldsmid.
The blend of Ancient and Modern in the Church held the trio in awe.
Princess Sia wrote in the visitors book, and they all left, hurridley.
The Weald of Kent was famous for its hops and Oast Barns were everywhere. Fortunately Panda took lots of photos as Cat managed to wipe hers from her camera - modern camera's far to many buttons.

Hever Castle
The home of Anne Bolyn, a magnificent castle with two moats and a a fragrant rose garden that enveloped the senses.
The Castle was all that Woo had hoped the 13th century set in magnificent grounds.
It was at the castle that Woo was embarrassed by a small frightened boy asking his father, in the rich plummy tones of the very British UC, "Where are those people from Father?" "Don't be afraid Tristan they are from Australia".
Not only had the trio acquired accents but apparently they had descended on Hever Castle like a flock of screaming galahs.
That was another thing thought Cat about having acquired an accent, I am finding it very difficult to understand what people are saying.

Panda spent the day chatting to Bob the Knower of Things and was beginning to blend in and look much like a badger.

Apart from the incident involving the purchasing of postcards it was a perfect day.

Cat had decided to purchase a postcard and lined up politely behind a woman involved in the simple task of purchasing a season ticket. The woman began to make the simple task extremely complicated and involved questioning the rather large bored teenager in the booth about all possible permutations
"If my husband doesn't come can I still use .....blah blah blah."

Woo watched in trepidation as she saw Cat, her ears flattening and foot tapping. All the signs were there of a Cat about to explode and rip the booth to shreds.
She whispered as quietly as a an Australian can "DO WE REALLY NEED THESE POSTCARDS?"
Cat placed the postcard on the booth's ledge and with a dark and threatening look towards the oblivious teenager who remained totally disengaged from everyone including the thick woman buying the season ticket.

Cat began a cruel mocking imitation of the woman and Woo listened amused and relieved to have distracted  Cat.

A meal of Fish and Chips. Cod and chips with curry sauce and peas. A very English meal.

High Tea at High Rocks

Princess Sia

Another exceptional day for the Weald, bright and shiny, enough warmth in the sun, just enough chill in the air for a balanced and agreeable day. The routine of things was beginning, Woo curled up on the floor was awakened by Cat rummaging around in the square meter of a kitchen looking for tea and toast. Cat would brew tea and make cheese on toast . Both would sit, Woo on the floor, Cat on a chair and plan the day ahead. What did they want to visit today?. Woo started, “Marks and Sparks.”

“And Tescos,” said Cat, “Postcards.” The list went on until it was whittled back later by Narna the Wise to Victoria Shopping Centre and High Rocks.

Panda snoozed through the deliberations happy to go with whatever was happening. Once the Princess was awake he was on call anyway, he needed his rest.

Victoria Shopping Centre revealed much about the British way of life. Some of which horrified Panda, to park in the shopping centre cost several pounds. No such thing as a free park. Marks and Spencers was a revelation. It seems that the British like all their food pre-cooked and wrapped in plastic. Amazing food from all over the world could be unwrapped, shoved in an oven and Wha-Lah gourmet meal for dinner.

As the Princess demanded the shopping cruise end the next part of the tour began. The journey to High Rocks.

These rocks were named in the 15th century because they were indeed high. Imagination is a highly prized gift in the UK.

The Inn at the High Rocks served a particularly lovely lunch, in a particularly lovely garden. The English knew gardens that was for sure thought Cat as she spied the expanse of green and the ordered rows of flowers. Except for the curios habit of bringing their dogs.

The Princess freed from her perambulator ran her toes through the grass and headed off to explore the garden with Panda a respectful distance behind.

Meals were ordered in the lower front bar. This proved to be an extraordinarily difficult experience for Cat. It appeared that in the process of travelling from Brisbane to Kent Cat had acquired an accent. The Argentinean waiter had difficulty understanding Cat and Cat’s Spanish was limited to Hey Hose and Ariba Ariba , which did not help with ordering the beer at all. It seemed that yes they had no coronas’ and ended with a sliver of lime placed in all beer, cider and Pepsi. Narna came to the rescue and confused the Argentinean even more. Woo and Cat began to softly sing in the background,

Don’t buy for me Argentina, The truth is we don’t understand you
Have you Coronas, have you cider, not to be rude
Can you decipher.

The lunch and the service made up for it all.

After exploring the rocks and the carvings dating back to the 1700’s. “ Graffiti is not new at all,” mused Panda.

The journey home saw an exhausted Panda and Princess doze off. At home Andy Pants was channelling Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and prepared a delicious Thai Green Curry from first principles. Not a plastic wrapper in sight. All the vegetables were from his garden. The chicken may have come hermetically sealed.

Nonetheless the meal was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Dogs In Pubs

The trio arrived tired and worn out at Heathrow. They survived the long walk through customs, solved the mystery of the lost African boy, Panda  greatly relieved that there was no need for a cavity search. Woo was just that little bit disappointed.

Neither Cat, Panda nor Woo had expected the walk to the baggage carousels to be so long. They walked half way to London to collect their bags and trudged on to the exit.

All at once Woo burst into tears as Dana Banana (aka Narna) and Andy came into view. It had been a long, long time for Woo and her best friend in the whole wide world. Now they could laugh and talk together they cried very happy tears.

Woo and Narna hugged and cried some more. Andy smiled. Cat and Panda stood back, even Cat knew this was a special moment for Woo.

Andy took charge and led the troop back to the car where he fit all the bags and ports in neatly. Panda, Cat and Woo shared the back seat and it was a very tight fit.

In Pembury the house where Narna and Andy lived was built in Victorian times, it was then the Gardener’s Cottage. The old coach house next door had been converted into a home and the manor house belonged to a forensic accountant. Andy promised to show the trio his allotment when there was time.

In the Gardener’s Cottage lived the beautiful Princess Sia. She rules wisely, her rules are simple, do what I want , when I want and all will be well. Cat was delegated the task of reading stories as soon as she arrived. Sleeping arrangements were sorted, Woo got the couch and Panda and Cat the cellar.

First evening in England Andy arranged for dinner at the Black Horse. This is an old English Pub dating from 12th century. Best of all to Andy and Panda’s glee it was a bank holiday special and the meal, a lovely roast was free.

At the Black Horse , Sia’s Grumps and Grammy came to eat and play as well. It was a grand night.

The three travellers came home to the house of the Princess and went to bed and slept and slept.

Monday – Day One in Pembury

Woodland walk in Pembury

In the morning or rather later in the morning, closer to lunch time, the intrepid travellers walked through a woodland and visited a grave yard. The Princess began to tire and was carried some of the way home in Panda’s arms.

Andy came home from work and the entourage set out to find another Olde Worlde establishment. Panda was looking forward to another meal, Cat was excited to see another building from the 15th century, Woo had twigged that they were on a pub crawl though Kent.

Arriving at the Mark’s Cross they enjoyed fish and chips and Woo had her very first English bangers and mash. All three were in tourist heaven.

Then Woo exclaimed “They have dogs in the Pub”.

“Yes dogs are allowed in English pubs,” Narna gave a matter- of- fact reply.

“Really??” said a surprised Panda a little confused about health and safety rules. There are none.

Lucille of Marks Cross

“We are in a Pub? With Dogs!!!!”, Cat called out as she wrapped her claws around a beam supporting the rather low 15th century ceiling.

The party moved outside to battle wasps and let the Princess run free. Woo held back and talked to the dogs for a while, Lucille had been bitten by an adder and was feeling sorely.

n the garden the view was stunning. A dalmatian and a couple of terriers sat well behaved and relaxed with their human servants soaking up the warmth of the day. The Princess ran like an unruly puppy set free from a leash. Her entourage, taking shifts, tried to keep up with her. Finally all were so exhausted they came home, had toast for tea and fell into a deep exhausted sleep.

Monday was over it was a day in which day Woo had found links to her perhaps heritage, for there guarding Marks Cross was a rather regal owl, Panda discovered dogs in Pubs. Cat discovered God was probably English and that she was second place to the Princess.

All was right in the world.

Singapore swings

A night of cramp and discomfort for Panda and Cat as they attempted to curl up and under two seats that were perfect for size 8 bottoms, but nowhere near big enough for XXXL. Woo had managed to score the seat in front of Cat and Panda. As luck would have it she was sitting next to a bejewelled Rosella. It happened that Ramon worked as a window dresser for David Jones and on his way to Siberia for a holiday and a sable hat. Cat questioned the ethics of  a bird wearing the pelt of an animal. Ramon replied that he did not actually kill the sable so it was ok. The logic appealed to Cat in a warped way.

At Singapore airport whie exchanging money for a cup of tea, Cat dropped her passport and was saved by a quick pick up by Woo. Panda still does not know.

Another 13 hours to go.

What larks will be had on the second leg.

Beauty Secrets

“Why” puffed cat, “does everybody I love live on the top of a hill?”

“That’s not true Cat” spoke Woo as she flounced ahead and pirouetted walking backwards to face the wheezy Cat.
“You don’t love anybody”.
“True, I am after all a cat and nature takes precedence”.
“Where are we going to again?” twirled Woo tiptoeing along side Cat.
“We are off to see my friend Shakespeare, she is my hairdresser and she works from home”
“Oooh lovely,” preened Woo.

The final steps to Shakespeare’s trim little cottage with the white picket fence took great effort on the part of Cat. She flopped exhausted and lay panting against the pretty bright blue door.
Woo looked at Cat with some concern as she was not sure of the way home. Woo rang the door bell.

The door opened with a flourish, causing Cat to flop with a thwop on the thick pink carpet. What appeared was a small tubby Bilby wearing an emerald green turban and a flowing rainbow kaftan. It greeted the two with a flourish. Her long pointed nose and bright shiny eyes and delicate outstretched hands welcomed them in. Woo was a little taken aback as she knew bilbies to be rather quiet retiring types more likely to be found in a library telling her to shush than that which now stood before her.

“Huooloo my lovelies do come on in. My, Cat you do look just a wee bit worn out, my dearie”. She held up her small hand in greeting to Woo saying, “welcome, welcome, take a chair and lay your wee weary body down, relax take it easy, you are now on the hands of experts. My name is Shakespeare, I am not just a hairdresser and beautician I am a TAFE qualified artiste. I can see my life’s work has just entered my humble establishment”. Woo was even more taken aback by the lilting Edinburgh accent.

As Woo entered the cottage she saw that the front parlour had been converted into a complete beauty salon with plush chairs for two. Cat crawled into the nearest chair and lay back surrendering to its luxury.

“Jist sit yoursleves down and I will get one of my assistants to bring you both a nice cup of tea.

“Haggis” yelled Shakespeare, “two teas, no sugar for the Cat.”

A creature not unlike a Kiwi scurried into the room looked at Woo and Cat and snapped “No milk”.

Haggis

“Yes please” said Cat.

“No yer daft cat Uh men there us no mulk”. The Haggis spoke with a thick New Zealand accent.

Woo gave the creature a quizzical look. Shakespeare shook her head and apologised “I cudne get a REAL Haggis I have been forced to hire this mock Haggis from NZ". Well thought Woo that explains the all blacks jersey.

Shakespeare continued “he is not all that good in the kitchen but he is a dab hand with the crossword”. Woo could only agree with the last part of that sentence as she was still waiting on the tea.

Cat moaned form her chair – this day was deteriorating fast. The hill and now there was no milk for her tea.

“Dinna fush ,Cat, vanity feels no pain”, soothed Shakespeare. A pretty young possum began to take instruction from Shakespeare and began to comb and trim Cat's hair.

"Are we having the same as usual" the possum asked Cat. Woo looked in sympathy at the poor creature as Cat's eyes glared at her. "I will be having a colour and trim please".

Shakespeare smiled, "Och she is a sweetie my new apprentice. Ash, this is Cat and just the usual for her and by the look of it nails as well."

"Shuz u pist ",barked Haggis from the kitchen. Ash looked crestfallen,

Shakespeare began primping Cats curls, brushing them too and fro. Cat purred and looked at Shakespeare in the mirror. “I am afraid I have some worries - I seem to be going bald here on my tummy. I just don’t understand it”.

Haggis entered with a tray of steaming cups of tea and a plate of Anzac biscuits.

“Puffuctly obvus ya daft Cat you’re fat and yau billy has bin draggin on the ground”.

“Hush now Haggis back in the kitchen now and leave the sweet talking to me. Cat you are fat, this is true” burred Shakespeare magically rolling her “Rrr’s”, “However, I do have a product I will offer you later at an exorbitant price that will magically make a world of difference”.

Cat purred“you are the best, Shakespeare, you are the best.”

Woo could not believe what she was seeing, Cat not attacking, just laying back and being almost nice.

Woo's spider senses were tingling and she knew there was something not quite right.

“Shakespeare”, she asked carefully, “are there many bilbies in Scotland?”

“Ummmm, possibly” replied Shakespeare.

“It’s just that I have never met a bilby with a Scottish accent before”.

Ash looked at Shakespeare as if she had suddenly thought the same Woo thought.

A great clanging and dropping of pots from the kitchen almost broke the moment.

However, Woo persisted, “Exactly which part of Scotland do you come from?”.

Cat murmured “Shhhh Woo it’s a secret”.

Woo suddenly sat up ad looked around the room, she loved secrets, the bigger the better. There was only one thing greater than a secret and that was the on-telling of that secret to another person in ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE.

At the same moment Haggis came barrelling into the room, tripping over his long feet he sent a tray flying. The contents spilled all over Shakespeare drenching her in tea and milk. Biscuits went hurtling and scattering over the floor. Cat dove for the biscuits, Haggis continued to scrabble and slip over the floor coming to rest under the sink where Ash was preparing a colour mixture. Ash screamed frantically as blonde colouring fell on her chest. Woo promptly placed her head in a basket of towels.

It took a couple of minutes for order to be restored. Haggis grumbled a sorry and began sweeping up broken pots, plates and cups. Cat climbed back into her chair and wiped the crumbs from her whiskers. Ash sat in the sink pouring water over her tummy moaning as a heart shaped patch of blonde fur began to form on her chest. Woo cautiously lifted her head from the towel basket.

Shakespeare lay on the floor – her turban had fallen off, and a pair of long white furry floppy ears appeared. As her long pointy nose fell off a short twitchy nose appeared. Woo looked in astonishment and tossing towels aside proclaimed “You’re a RABBIT”.

“Of course I am a rabbit, you daft bird” replied a very angry Scottish bunny.
“Why the disguise?” asked a bewildered Woo.
Cat looked at Woo “Because rabbits are illegal in Queensland that’s why”.
“That’s terrible”, said Woo. “How can she be here – she’s an illegal alien, shouldn’t she should be in Nauru or something?”

“Don’t be stupid its not the whole country its only Queensland where she is illegal. She should be is south of the border in South Australia or somewhere".
“But” burred the Scottish bunny, “I just love it here in Queensland, I arrived in Nimbin when I first flew in and then moved with a travelling magic show to Maleny. I loved the alternative life, the green grass, the vibe. In order to stay I had to start wearing this disguise. Ahhh Queensland the sunshine state, perfect one day and more perfect the next. Thankfully not that smart”.
How long have you been living this lie? asked Ash, in sad small voice.
“Och lassie, for way too long now, in a way I am glad my secret is out in the open. Perhaps I should move south and be legal again.
“What about my apprenticeship?” wailed Ash.
“What about my nails?” demanded Cat..
“What about tomorrow’s crossword?” cried Haggis.
“You really cannot disappoint all these people, Shakespeare, you have to stay and continue even tho you are an illegal alien” counselled Woo.
“I am not an alien I am just considered a feral pest”.
Looking around the room, Woo, putting on her wisest face said “Well I guess we are all feral pests somewhere in the world. One country’s native is another’s pest”.

Some hours later, hair done, nails done Woo and Cat left the cute little cottage and its strange group of friends.

“Ahh” said Cat “I do love a hill that goes down, tell me honestly does my bum look big in this?’

Woo looked down at Shakespeare’s solution to Cats dragging belly, an elastic body suit that gripped her so tightly around the stomach that Cat looked much like a toothpaste tube squeezed in the middle, “Be honest now Woo”.

Woo smiled and said sweetly “Not at all, dear sister, not at all” Yes and I do love a secret thought Woo. She danced and fanned out her multicoloured feathers I do love a secret.

To the end of the Earth and beyond.

Another fine day thought Cat as she stretched and purred in the sun. Perfect day for a morning stroll. Panda continued to sleep on. He was in training for the Big Trip. He was adjusting his body clock so he would be able to operate on GMT the moment the plane landed. Cat was in awe of Panda's dedication. How he managed to sit up until 2-3am every night and raise himself up each midday showed the true dedication of a conscientious athlete. Thankfully, they had Foxtel and Panda could force himself to stay awake though every known football code. It occurred to Cat that Panda must have been planning for this particular Big Trip all his life.

Cat set off on her walk and came to the hill that led to Woo's cabin. Woo had been ill again, not wounded in action against the bubbles, she was cold sick and  feeling poorly. Cat stood at the bottom of the hill and wondered if she really cared enough to struggle up and visit Woo. In the end the chance of a fitter Cat for the Big Trip won out and she began the journey up Wheezy Hill.

Woo's house was quiet, even Axel the guard was missing in action. Truley it was only 2 am in London but surely now at 11am (Brisbane) she should be awake, thought Cat.

The door to the cabin swung open and Dr Si invited Cat in.
"How is the Woo today, Dr Si?"
"She is better but still poorly" replied the good Dr.
Cat heard a deep wet cough from the hallway and Woo dragged her self into the room. She coughed again and Cat winced. Nasty fur-ball, thought Cat.

Dr Si sat down and the three began to talk about the Big Trip. The kettle boiled and Dr Si brewed up some peppermint and lemon tea for Woo and himself and dandelion for Cat.
"Are those Anzac biscuits?" asked Cat.
"Yes", said Dr Si proudly, "from Coles for $1.99, a bargain. I am surprised Panda did not pick them up".
"No, he prefers Aldi. Though these are particularly nice biscuits", said Cat as she carefully dipped her biscuit into her tea.

Dr Si and Panda could talk for hours over bargains gained and lost. It seemed to both Cat and Woo a strange ritual as they both shopped on a seen and needs basis. Having seen a product they then know they need it - price no object. Panda and Dr Si were much more discriminating. If it was cheap and a bargain they bought it. Of course the fact that no one wanted to eat that much cabbage, or past due packets, was never as important as the realization that this was a bargain meal. Cat and her pandaroos would often sit before a plate of something suspicious while Panda would proudly boast that he could feed a family for less than a $1 each. Cat and Woo suspected Dr Si and Panda were locked into a competition in which neither Cat nor Woo could win.

Woo started to feel better and brought out some brochures and travel maps for consultation. Cat measured the distance from Brisbane to Singapore and Singapore to London.
"Does not look that far, as the crow flies" proclaimed Dr Si.

Cat an Woo laughed until Woo began to choke on her cough and Cat was caught between sympathy and delight at Woo's misery. It was a moment of pure sisterly love and delicious betrayal. They both knew crows could not fly in a straight line. Cat's father (Woo's perhaps father) had been a crow and he could not often walk a straight line let alone take wing and fly straight. Their same mother had often told them that father could not even lie straight in bed. They both cackled to each other.


Dr Si adjusted his spectacles and looked at the two rolling on the couch laughing.

"Naturally,"he pontificated "it only looks like a straight line on the map. It is, however, much further as the earth is, of course, spherical in shape".

Cat opened her eyes wide and smiled a creamy smile. Woo began to feel agitated as she knew the nature behind the smile.
"Really!" smoothed Cat. "The earth is a ball".
"No it is a sphere, which is like a ball but a little squashed" he condescended from a great height built entirely of empirical knowledge.

Woo began to nervously flutter "any more tea?" Cat nodded mercifully toward her cup. Woo hurried to the kitchen and buried her head in the sugar bowl.

"So! Good Dr, how do you explain that the earth is round when quite clearly it is flat. Just consider as evidence the map before you. Brisbane, Singapore and London laid two dimensionally before you".

Dr Si spluttered his disbelief, "surely you cannot believe the Earth is FLAT!!!"
"I did not say I believed it to be so. I merely asked  you explain it to be otherwise".

Woo surfaced at the same time as both Cat and Dr Si saw the last remaining Anzac biscuit. Woo heard Cat purr, "Winner takes all" before plunging again int the safety of the sugar bowl.

Dr Si PhD (Physics major and  Wizard of the computer and all things mathematical ) began his lecture with great seriousness. First he laid out the Greeks, then onward and unrelenting from Columbus to Newton. He paused to catch a breath and then went on to the entire Apollo mission, as he reached for his lap top to complete his discourse by visiting Google Earth.

Cat held up her paw, as if to surrender the argument and let the conversation go. Dr Si smirked, satisfied, he eyed the biscuit.

"OK, Dr Si", she sighed. "OK just one thing how then do you explain two things. Firstly, the photo at the beginning of this story", she held up the photo of the four travelers, "definitely two dimensional.  Also this photo of the Earth still two dimensional. Ergo, ipso facto, the earth is two dimensional and, therefore, flat as a tack".
Dr Si spluttered and stammered "Its a proven scientific fact the world is sphere hanging in space".
Cat smiled again and lifted her paw allowing the argument to escape again.
"Of course you are right Dr Si" she smiled ,"I know the earth is not flat".

She leaned towards him, "After all I climbed the Wheezy hill to get here didn't I". As she leaned forward she deftly picked up the biscuit and licked it, placing back on the plate carefully. "You win!" she declared and looked up triumphant as Woo returned with a tray of tea and sugar crystals stuck to her eyelashes. Dr Si sat in a state of shock having won the argument and lost the prize.

Cat indicated the biscuit on the table, "Are you going to take the last Anzac, Dr Si?"
He shook his head, still trying to work out what had  happened.

Cat sat back and nibbled on her prize. She sat thinking that she could have told Dr Si the truth, that there were two hills to Woo's place. The one going up and the other coming down. However, she would leave that until next time, no need to destroy him as he was, truly, such good sport. Best leave that for another day.

Came the time to leave. Cat said good bye to a crushed Dr Si and whispered in Woo's ear "Neither science nor magic, truth or justice can stand in the way of of a good story or the last Anzac biscuit. Now cough up that fur-ball and get well for there is only 20 more sleeps to go".
Woo nodded a cloud of sweet understanding, "victory is indeed a sweet thing" she murmured in reply.

Cat stepped out into the sun and allowed it to give her a silky warm caress. Yes indeed this had been a good walk this morning.

The adventure begins

The Cat, Panda and Woo have received their travel documents and their passports are in their happy paws. The Panda has again proved that you can get blood out of a stone by  squeezing the travel agents and flight centres until he dragged the best deals out of them. The Cat filed her nails and the Woo flapped her wings in excitement. This was going to be a great journey of discovery for the three adventurers. They were off to the UK to visit Dana Banana, Andy and baby Sia. Old friends and family are on the list of people to see. Places to see include the great stones of henge and the changing of the guard. London swinging like a pendulum awaits the intrepid crew.

Thirty three sleeps .

You may well ask who are Cat, Panda ,Woo and Jools? What is the connection? All will be revealed over time. However to be fair some hints are provided for those not in the know.

Cat and Woo are sisters. Not that they are alike and not that they are unalike. One is a cat and the other a woo. They have a brother Benji Bear, a true-blue Koala who works for the Federalies. It is not unusual for Bear to phone from far flung corners of the former Empire and slur "I am a Koala not a Bear" which is code for "I have had too much sake and I miss my sisters". Cat and Woo love their Bear and think him too funny for words so they hang up on him. This happens often.

Cat and Bear tolerate the Woo as only older siblings can. They tell her she is adopted. They  hint at the  great unspoken mystery of an Owl and a Pussy Cat and a pea green boat. This is a digression, a whole other telling for another time. This is the now story of adventure sharing with Cat, Panda and Woo. The story cannot stray from the preparations for the great adventure.

The Panda and  Cat share their little house near a wooded spring with two of their three pandaroos SamiKoo and the Jade Dragon.Middle offspring KimiKoo has  bedded down not far from the spring with a bunch of like minds.

In a country faraway where magpies warble lives Cat and Panda's favourite ducklings Courtney and Zachary. It is for the duckings this story is written, though every attempt is made to hold hand of the inner child playing within the largest of readers.

Back to the travellers plans  to leave the shore on a silver bird. The day is set for the 28th day of the month of August. The silver bird is from Singapore. Once in London Dana and her family will take the three to Kent and show then a great many things. By the 6th September they will have out worn their welcome and eaten all the crisps and cake and be ready to move on to London town. There they will visit the Queen . Woo is looking forward to seeing changing of the guard. The Panda thinks every thing will be new and cool but has concerns about the busby's worn by the changing Guards  "What do you mean they are made of BEAR skins" he said shaking a worried head.
"Don't concern yourself Panda, they are all black, not black and white," soothed Cat. There in London Cat will meet old friends from York. There is also a plan to meet a cousin,  the Fischer King.  He is cousin to Cat and Woo from their father's side (well perhaps only Cat's fathers side - pea green boat, owl and pussycat - remember) .

By now having grown totally bored with London the adventurers will catch a Trafalgar bus and go on tour. In Paris they will meet up with Jools . She has been with her cousin, living in the south of France, chewing the fat and unripened grapes. Mostly just staring over the fence into Gerard D's vineyard. Hoping for a chance encounter with a younger brother.

Now an even number the travellers four will drive through France, Switzerland and Italy before retuning home. Same silver bird this time going in the opposite direction.

So for Jools it is only 33 sleeps away, for Panda it is only 5 snoozes, for  Cat about 3,975 naps and the Woo will probably not sleep at all. Cat hopes she has packed enough poise for the journey.

Preparations and distant drums

The Cat has reprised her walking regime and begins each morning of the weekend contemplating the cold outside. On this particular morning Cat stretched and sighed and crawled out from beneath her covers. She shivered as she turned her electric blanket off and quickly put on her walking clothes. There was no movement from the Panda.

Coffee and eggs for breakfast, a quick brush of the fangs and she was out the door. As arranged  Cat had rung the Woo on both her home phone and her mobile.
"Call me when you leave and I will join you on your walk", she had instructed Cat the day before. Both phone calls rang out - no answer.

The walk to  Woo's house was an easy path until the hill that had to be climbed  With determination the cat wheezed up the hill convinced that  the reward would be a fitter Cat on the trip to the Old Dart.

Finally Cat opened the door to  Woo's small cabin. The cozy nest was home to the Woo's three juvenile possums (Benbo, Samwise and Tay). Sometimes  Dr Si who was the Woo's snuggle would also sleep over.

The Cat spoke nicely to Axel the house guard and asked permission to enter. Axel gave a ruff reply and Cat entered the cabin.  She padded down the hallway and entered Woo's nest.

There on her bed  curled up in her doona lay the Woo with her owly pj's and a sad look on her face.
"I cannot go walking with you today Cat. I have been attacked by bubbles and my head hurts".
"Oh dear" said Cat as she curled up on the bed and patted Woo gently. "Can I get you a cup of tea?"
"No thank you" moaned the Woo.
"Hmmmm, it must be a very bad attack of the bubbles if you don't want a cup of tea. Perhaps you will feel better if I make you some breakfast. Would you like some sardines on toast" said Cat brightly.
"Not so loud please" moaned Woo" the bubbles have swollen my brain and it is thumping on my skull like a big drum."
Woo whispered "I need a drink of water." Cat watched as Woo weakly sipped from her water bottle. With Cat's full store of sympathy now used up she was ready to leave.
"Where is Dr Si ?"she asked.
"He has gone to get me some willow bark for my drum head,"whimpered Woo.
"Well I am off "said Cat springing from the bed. "Perhaps you should stay and sleep today and let the bubbles settle".  The covers on the bed snored.

Cat walked outside and said goodbye to Axel who would have loved to come for a walk but was still on guard. The day was bright but chilly and Cat was mighty pleased she had grabbed a warm scarf before she left home. After some time (not that far really) the Springwood Coffee Club beckoned Cat to come and have a cuppa. When she entered the establishment she saw that Dr Si was finishing off a latte and reading the paper. Cat went over and sat down. A flat white coffee was ordered. Dr Si and Cat talked about politics and the state of the world. Eventually Cat asked, "How's the hunt for willow bark going?
Dr Si smiled "I found some earlier at the apothecary's once I have finished my coffee and the paper I will take it home to the Woo"?
"She seems quite felled by the bubbles this time. Perhaps she needs to rethink her plan of attack for next time. Take on smaller numbers, one on one, rather than two at a time" murmured Cat.
"It is a big battle," sighed the Dr. "Yet the Woo is the only one keen to take them on?" mused Dr Si who liked to cogitate and analyse such things deeply. Cat felt her limbs begin to stiffen and knew it was time to start walking again. She offered to pay and was refused by a wave of the Dr's hand.
"Thanks for the coffee" she said and began her walk home.

The sun was now shining weakly and not quite warm enough for Cat to take off her scarf. The breeze cut lazily through her jacket and Cat wondered how cold September would be in Kent.

Cat passed the Woo's cabin and thought she heard a sad and mournful moan followed by a low distant drumming.
"Poor Woo. Bubbles are bad" reflected Cat.

The adventure begins

The Cat, Panda and Woo have received their travel documents and their passports are in their happy paws. The Panda has again proved that you can get blood out of a stone by  squeezing the travel agents and flight centres until he dragged the best deals out of them. The Cat filed her nails and the Woo flapped her wings in excitement. This was going to be a great journey of discovery for the three adventurers. They were off to the UK to visit Dana Banana, Andy and Zoe. Old friends and family are on the list of people to see. Places to see include the great stones of henge and the changing of the guard. London swinging like a pendulum awaits the intrepid crew.